If you spend as much time reading other blogs as I do you’ll soon start developing strong opinions regarding what’s acceptable and what earns you a non-stop trip across the River Styx into the inner circle of the fiery pit.
Here, in no particular order and with no implications of guilt whatsoever (But, you know who you are so just stop it, right now!) are my Cardinal Sins of blogging.
Squished Content: Your center content area should be wide enough to contain an average sentence. If I have to move my eyes back and forth, from line to line, six times to read a 12-word sentence I’m going to be dizzy before I finish the first paragraph.
Eye-Popping Colors: Personally, I like the combination of inky black, neon pink and lime green – but only when viewed from a distance, in dim lighting, and only in small doses. If your colors make my eyes bleed I’m not going to hang around.
Teeny, Tiny Fonts: I’m happy for you. You have perfect eyesight. I don’t. And neither do most of your visitors. ‘Nuff said? Moving on…
Like, Duh, and Dude: Please remove all traces of these words from your posts. I am not now, nor have I ever been, a surfer dude, and I don’t plan to become one in the future. You’re a blogger. It’s time to learn how to speak like an adult.
Horrible Navigation: Please make it easy for me to find your archives page, your About page and most important, your Contact page. Why are you hiding this important information?
Complicated Comments: I don’t want to subscribe to your site, or join Facebook, or answer a poll question before I can leave a comment. I just want to leave a comment. I don’t even care if I get a link.
Slow Load Time: Don’t get me wrong, I like those image-type sites where the whole post is nothing but cute puppy pictures or pictures of death-defying bridges. But please minimize those images so I don’t have to wait all day for the page to load. And get rid of the background images, too. They’re just taking up too much time.
Personal Details: There are certain things you don’t discuss in public: Your sex life, your drinking abilities, the color of your dog’s poop, the color of your baby’s poop – these are just for starters. I’m sure you can come up with more.
Excessive Blog Rolls: Seriously? You read 150 blogs every week? And you think I should, too? At least clean up your list and get rid of the blogs that no longer exist. And really, you’ll be doing your blog a favor – If those favorite blogs you’re linking to aren’t relevant, it hurts your SEO.
Exclamation Points: The rule of thumb is one per post. Period. Too many and you just look like an excited surfer dude. (See “Like, Duh and Dude“, above.)
One Long Sentence: Please learn how to construct and punctuate a proper sentence and how to use sentences to construct a proper paragraph. Then, please apply this knowledge to your next blog post.